GRAND RAPIDS, Mich — Ever seen a deer in headlights? The common expression is derived from the actual look of a deer in front of an oncoming car makes before it becomes roadkill.
The crash sometimes kills the deer, and it takes a huge chunk of the car with it. Fortunately, that's where the Deer Sheriff comes in.
"Eyes open, tongues out, means she’s dead," Kent County Road Commission driver Andy Albertson said.
It’s not only deer Albertson picks up.
"Cow, llama, horse, turkeys, raccoons, bobcats, fox, opossums, dogs, cats and skunks," Albertson recalls.
If you’ve ever reported a dead animal in the roadway in Kent County, chances are Albertson, the so-called "Deer Sheriff," has responded to the call.
"I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, but that’s what they call me," Albertson jokes. "You’ve got doctors, lawyers, carpenters, plumbers, there’s only one Deer Sheriff. It's a strange way to make a living."
"It can be very satisfying at times and very gross at times," Albertson said.
'A touch barbaric'
Any idea what the most common animal he picks up? It's not hard to figure out.
"Doe’s, bucks, big and small," Albertson said.
Between the sight and the smell, not many people are up for the job. It’s no doubt a dirty job.
"The most productive way is me to get out, put a fresh set of rubber gloves on and drag them on to the truck... and get rid of them. And on to the next one," Albertson said.
During the fall and winter months, this sheriff, has his work cut out for him, literally.
"This big buck here, by the time I got the call and by the time I got from here out to the airport – his head was already gone," Albertson explains."I find that a touch barbaric, I’m not sure what the purpose is of an animal that’s been hit by a car to stop and cut the head off or the horns off and then do what? Tell a story about how you hunted it? I don’t know how that works."
He starts his day at the Kent County Road Commission. The first thing on his list is responding to complaints that came in the night before.
"Rubber gloves, looks like I may need a pitchfork, let’s take a look," Albertson said.
It's not just what's on the list. Any other dead animal on the roadways is his responsibility to remove.
"The toughest thing for me are family pets. I get a lot of dogs and if I can identify the homeowner, I’ll take the pet over to the homeowner and that’s always a tough ring on the doorbell," Albertson said.
The Deer Wagon
The dead animals appear everywhere, from state highways to neighborhood streets.
He started this job in 2005, disposing of nearly 33,000 animals since then.
"I told the boss when I hit 50,000, I’m going to retire," Albertson joked.
When you see a dead deer on the side of the road, chances are there are car parts not far away.
"See the car parts in front? That’s how you can tell," Albertson explains.
It's a different kind of hunting for a different kind of hunter.
"It's deer hunting, road commission style," Albertson said.
It's a job not everyone is cut out for.
"Maybe God has me where he wants me," Albertson said. "I'm 53-years-old, a college degree and I’m in the front seat of the deer wagon, you have to laugh a little bit."
Albertson works with several agencies across the city and county. All of the calls that come in about a dead animal in the road generally get funneled to him. He collects the carcasses Monday through Friday before dumping them at the South Kent Recycling and Waste Center.
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