GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — As you prepare to sit down at the dinner table with family this holiday season it’s important to prepare for topics of conversation that might cause conflict.
Whether it’s political, religious, or some other controversial topic not everyone at a gathering is likely to agree on everything.
And while it might be tempting to engage in a debate or sway people to your side experts say it’s best not to avoid those discussions.
Family gatherings can be fun but also exhausting. Clinical psychologists say it helps to mentally prepare ahead of time.
Hosts can set boundaries by stating before or during dinner that certain subjects are off-limits.
“I think that that can be very helpful. It sort of sets the stage for everybody to know what to expect there. Now, if you have somebody who pushes that boundary, and starts to talk about it anyway, I really encourage people to just deflect attention away from that, to move on to something more positive or comfortable. Or just say, oh, remember, we're not going to talk about that over dinner," Dr. Nicole Beurkens, licensed psychologist at Horizons Developmental Resource Center, said.
If that persistent uncle continues to poke and push, psychologists say you can always smile and ignore the contentious subject.
Name it and move on by responding with comments like, “let’s agree to agree” or use humor to defuse the situation.
“I would kind of go into it with the mindset that it's not going to be perfect. No, no holiday time is going to be perfect, and focus on that. You love your family and to show love to them and try to treat people the way that you'd want to be treated and not to put so much pressure on it to be this perfect grand event," Dr. Matthew Clark, Clinical Psychologist at the Clark Institute, said.
They say it’s okay to discuss issues or different viewpoints but arrange a different day and time to do so not during the holiday season.
Remember what these family gatherings are truly about coming together with the ones you love.
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