GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Christmas is here and, as with any occasion involving presents, it can be tough for kids to deal with disappointment around gifts they receive. This is especially true for younger children, and those with developmental or emotional challenges. 13 ON YOUR SIDE spoke with holistic child psychologist Dr. Nicole Beurkens for some insight.
As parents, it can feel really embarrassing to have your child express not-so-pleasant feelings about something they’ve just opened, especially in a group setting. This is not about children being ungrateful or intentionally rude. It’s almost always an issue with them handling big uncomfortable feelings, including disappointment.
Here are some tips as you navigate the gift-giving experiences with your child this holiday season and beyond:
- Talk to your children before gift opening to help them anticipate various feelings and how they can handle them.
- These kinds of questions can help start the conversation:
- What might it feel like if you don’t get the video game you asked for?
- Have you ever felt grateful that someone gave you a gift, but also disappointed that it wasn’t something you wanted?
- I wonder how you might feel if your cousin gets something you really wanted?
- Talk through or role play different ways of responding so they have the chance to practice ahead of time.
- If your child has a negative reaction during gift-opening activities, stay calm and offer support with a hug and a comment like “I know it’s hard when you expected one thing and got another.”
For more insights like these, visit Dr. Beurkens website.
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