GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — In the media center of Sheldon Clubhouse in downtown Grand Rapids, I set up my camera to interview Leasa Holton.
We shared a few laughs as she told a story about the difficulties she had picking out an outfit for this occasion, and how much she practiced what she thought she was going to say.
I've met a lot of people who are nervous to speak on camera while lights shine on their faces. But to truly appreciate what an achievement it is for Leasa to tell her story on camera to someone she just met, you have to know where she came from.
"When I got here, I was so very broken — so much thinking everybody in the world was evil, and they were just out to hurt me and I just I shut myself away pretty much," she said.
Leasa's parents divorced when she was 14 years old. Shortly after that came her first suicide attempt. She said the whole thing was written off as an isolated incident, so she was never diagnosed with a mental illness.
When Leasa graduated high school, she served in the Navy for one year. She said she left the service because of an "inability to cope."
She survived an abused marriage, the suicide of her 27-year-old son and many suicide attempts of her own.
Years of trauma took a toll on her.
"I didn't like to go outside. I wanted to stay in the darkness. I didn't want to be in the public. I got to the point where I didn't even go to grocery stores. I just could not be around people," she said.
Things started to change when a case manager mentioned Sheldon Clubhouse to her. At first, Leasa was skeptical.
"I thought that's just another way for them to keep an eye on me and watch what I'm doing and everything. I came over here, came up the stairs, and met the staff member that was doing my tour that day and automatically felt like a calming, like maybe this will work," she said.
"So I came back as a member, but it took me a long time, even as a member, to start really engaging with people."
Leasa has a business background, having done accounting work, so she was approached by associate director Tara VanDyke to be on the clubhouse's advisory board. Figuring out what skills and interests members have is a crucial part of the Clubhouse International model.
"Not only do we address social isolation, and support connectedness, and relationships and purpose, but we also support our members around their education goals and their employment goals. It's very all-encompassing. It's a very holistic approach," said Tara VanDyke.
"This is an international movement, and there's evidence behind the model. We learn from each other and have a chance to really change the world of mental health, and address isolation, and provide a place of hope and recovery for those living with a mental illness," Tara said.
When Leasa came to Sheldon Clubhouse, she said she didn't volunteer for much of anything. But ever since then, she's gained confidence and has a hand in many different aspects of clubhouse operations.
"This was my coping mechanism. I come here as much as I can. I am on the advisory committee. I'm on the finance committee. I'm on the community connections committee. I do a lot of public speaking. Tara and I worked with a local psychiatrist and for two years in row we taught the Clubhouse model to incoming psych students at Pine Rest [Christian Mental Health Services]," Leasa said.
"I will be traveling around the globe, and doing accreditations at whatever clubhouses are due for their accreditation."
Leasa also learned how to trust people again. She rekindled past relationships and made brand new ones as well.
"I can go out in public and not be afraid, because the stigma out there is pretty rough sometimes, but I don't have to be afraid of it, because now I know I can use my voice and say just because I have a mental illness doesn't mean I can't function," she said.
Leasa wants to help give back to Sheldon Clubhouse so the organization can help more people.
Cherry Health runs both Sheldon Clubhouse in Grand Rapids and also Lakeside Clubhouse in Holland. Tara says there's one program in particular that needs community support.
"Our scholarship fund provides access to members that don't have traditional access to our program. It is essential. We've seen a 65% increase just in the last year of folks that wouldn't be able to to join the Clubhouse without donor support," she said.
If you'd like to make a contribution to the scholarship fund, you can do so on their website. Tara said another great way for people to get involved is to check out Sheldon Clubhouse or Lakeside Clubhouse for yourself.
Leasa said even though Clubhouse International has been around for a long time, not a lot of people know about it.
"We don't want it to be a secret anymore, because if I can come out of the darkness, so can you," she said.
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