GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. —
As Fourth of July celebrations wrap up, it’s important to reflect on what defines this country and the people who risk their lives to defend that.
For many military veterans, holiday celebrations can trigger memories they don’t want to re-live.
“I used to love the Fourth of July,” said Terrance Hall, an Army Veteran with Warriors and Caregivers United.
“When I was a kid, I loved the fireworks,” said Jeff Baldwin, an Army Veteran who went on his second retreat with the group this year.
But the fireworks can be a reminder of war.
“I hit an IED in '07,” said Hall, who served for 22 years.
“It just puts us right back into that situation,” Baldwin said.
It's a feeling many vets try to drown out.
“My first Fourth of July back from Iraq, I went with my son. Because that's the thing, we always went to the Fourth of July," Hall said. "I remember standing there, holding his hand, and I started crying. And I was shaking so bad, that I just abruptly left and went to the bar and got drunk.”
Terrance Hall has been sober for nearly three years.
“My worst episode that I remember, I woke up July 5, I was naked in the corner of my garage underneath some shelves," Hall said. "I just tried to drink, and drink, and drink it away.”
He helps put on the trip through Warriors and Caregivers United.
“For those three days, July 3, 4 and 5, I get out of town," Hall said. "I let people have their celebrations, and I go to North Manitou Island, where there's no fireworks.”
He’s now a mentor, for people like Jeff Baldwin.
“The military teaches us how to be self direct, self-care," Baldwin said. "So, we self medicate. I turned into a raging alcoholic and cross-addicted addict.”
He credits his turn around, in part, to Terry.
“We're there to say, look at what can be done, there's hope," Hall said. "There's light at the end of the tunnel.”
“You get around veterans who have PTSD, who know exactly what you experienced," Baldwin said. "Whether it's you personally been blown up, your friends been blown up, you’ve gotten shot. It doesn't matter, war is hell… and helping each other with our emotions and feelings, that's why I love going on this trip.”
Every year since 2016, the group visits the island for hiking, fishing and camping.
“Me, my fishing pole, the sun, and the stars, that's all I did," Baldwin said. "Just to sit back and decompress, regenerate, think about my thoughts, think about me, where I'm going in my life.... It's just therapeutic.”
“This is manageable," Hall said. "We've got to accept the new us. The old us is gone. He died. They're not coming back. But we've got to accept where we're at today, and for each person that's different... You can do this, don’t give up.”
If you'd like to learn more about Warriors and Caregivers United, you can visit their website.
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