GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — It's a topic trending on social media. Productivity and Success: How to stop glamorizing overworking.
During the holiday week, many working people have the time to take a break and do nothing. And it is okay to do nothing! But once the holidays end and Americans head back to work, our culture will once again praise the 60-hour work week and applaud sleep deprivation.
Anya Nyson is a psychotherapist at Spectrum Health, Women's Health and Wellness Center, and specializes in anxiety, depression, trauma and negative thinking. She says a lot of the women she works with have struggled with the demand from society to be successful and perfect at all times. And she says the "good girl culture" has been around for a long time.
“Its been around a lot longer than we think. I really see it as a trifecta of issues, and one stems from the protestant work ethic which is what our country was founded on," says Nyson. "In short what it means is that hard work equals morality. We are all brought up like this, that if we work hard we’re a good person. Then we have good girl culture that all women are marinated in, which means that we have to be pleasing all the time. So its this work hard, be pleasing and then we get perfection thrown in there too.”
Nyson says when you have all three of these playing together, it puts women on a treadmill of productivity that is really hard to get off of because it actually makes women feel good when they get positive feedback from the culture. So where is the incentive to change it?
Nyson says women need to work on moving their sense of self worth inside. To do so, she uses the acronym SCRIBE:
- Slow down. Don’t just do something because someone asks.
- Check-in with yourself first to see how you feel about doing it.
- Realize the story we are telling ourselves.
- Is the belief realistic?
- Believe that you are as worthy of your time as everyone else.
- Express your truth. Say no to something when you want to say no.
Nyson says that despite all of the progress women have made in the working world, the time/poverty gap still exists. And until the culture shift is successfully made on the part of men, women will continue to take on more than men do. Until change happens, Nyson advises women to focus on the characteristics that make them productive, and not on how productive they are. And to always remember that as a woman, you are enough.
“Roles have not changed enough, so women are out there working just as much as men are but the time/poverty gap is that women work an additional 6 hours of unpaid labor per day over men because we are still responsible for the house," says Nyson. "Women are exhausted. Focus on the characteristics that make you productive, not on how productive you are.”
To research this topic further, Nyson recommends the book The Curse of the Good Girl by Rachel Simmons.
Related video:
►Make it easy to keep up to date with more stories like this. Download the 13 ON YOUR SIDE app now.
Have a news tip? Email news@13onyourside.com, visit our Facebook page or Twitter. Subscribe to our YouTube channel.