KENT COUNTY, Mich. — Friday, April 12, 2024, is Wear Blue Day, a time to a time to bring awareness to sexual abuse against children as April marks Child Abuse Awareness Month.
One West Michigan man is sharing his story of survival and why he says talking about it is so important.
“I like to refer to this place at the beacon of light, right? In so many ways I lived in such darkness as a child. You can find that light again,” said Andrew Fuelling talking about the Children’s Advocacy Center of Kent County.
After attending a couple of luncheons with the organization, Fuelling decided to become a board member.
“Unfortunately for me, I’m a victim of child sex abuse, myself. I was eight years old. It was a very good friend of the family, neighbor,” he said.
It’s a secret he kept for decades. He told 13 ON YOUR SIDE he, “Really didn’t tell anyone until I was in my 30s,” and that, “The average age of reporting, especially for a male, is 52.”
Fuelling says this is often because of shame and the fear of not being believed.
“One in four girls and one in 13 boys, by the time they’re 18, are going to have some instance of child sex abuse. The reality of that is those numbers are probably much different because that’s just reported.”
This is just one reason to bring more awareness to this issue.
Fuelling said, “I’m telling you it happens everywhere because I grew up in Forest Hills. I went to a very good school, very good family, middle-class neighborhood, all that. It happens everywhere.”
He provided a suggestion to combatting the problem, saying, “I think the biggest way we can start to really start to turn the tide on all of this is talking about it,” before advising that parents, “Be observant of your child. Notice those behavioral changes: they start to withdraw, or they act out.”
He also said don’t shy away from these tough conversations at the dinner table, and that families should discuss, “Good touching, bad touching, good body parts, bad body parts, trusted adults, see something, say something. Like, these are things that if you can keep talking to your children about – creates that awareness and perspective that I didn’t have when I was a kid.”
Fuelling wants other victims and survivors to know, “Your life isn’t defined by that instance or something that happened to you. You can truly be anything you want after that.”
He told 13 ON YOUR SIDE that rather than thinking of himself as a survivor, Fuelling considers himself a thriver. He also said had there been an organization like the Children's Advocacy Center of Kent County when he was a child, he might be in an even better position today.
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